Not our policy

Ah, the Sandpiper Motel. The only motel actually on the beach (not on the seawall) in beautiful Galveston. Looks nice enough in this picture, right? Chel and I thought so, and we booked a room for our little weekend vacation with Ben and Emily.

When we got there around noon, the front desk clerk said we couldn’t check in for another three hours, so we grabbed some lunch at a (highly-recommended) burger joint, The Spot. We came back to change into our swimsuits in the Sandpiper’s lobby bathroom and head to the beach.

Between the Sandpiper and the beach is an innocent-looking unmowed grassy area, home to millions of blood-crazed kamakaze mosquitos! We each had about 30 trying to attack us as we frantically ran for the sand.

The beach time was nice, and we headed back through Mosquitoville to check into our room. When we got there, there was quite a crowd in the lobby waiting to be served, and a woman was busy arguing with the front desk clerk.

WOMAN: $195? I talked to Fred and he said our room would be $115 because we would get the family discount!

CLERK: Well, Fred’s not here, and I don’t know what he told you, but this is the rate.

WOMAN: (raising her voice) I am not happy about this! I’ll pay for it, but I am not happy and I need to voice my opinion.

CLERK: (raising his voice) That’s not our policy! It’s not our policy that you can voice your opinion in a public place. If you want to voice your opinion, you can do it privately.

About that time, I started looking around at all the posted policies. $5 deposit required to receive a room key and another $5 deposit required to get your television remote.

And the best one: No refunds after 15 minutes.

The irate woman paid and left, and the next couple came up to ask for their refund. Apparently the air conditioner in their room almost fell on the man’s head and the woman noticed the bed was broken.

Next! We were called to the counter.

CHELSEA: I think we’d like to see our room before we check in.

CLERK: That’s not our policy. If you can find a housekeeper out on the property, then maybe one of them will let you in. But that’s not our policy to let you see the room before you pay.

That’s all Chel had to hear. She found a housekeeper, who kindly let us in to room 242. (Maybe she didn’t know about the policy.)

And room 242 was fabulous, except for the puddle of water in front of the door from the air conditioner mounted above it, the wet carpet from the leaky air conditioner, and a hole in the door that looked like it had been caused by someone trying to kick it in.

Oh, and when we opened the window to the balcony, there were a few more kamikaze mosquitos just daring us to step outside and enjoy the view.

We found another place to stay. Staying at the Sandpiper just wasn’t our policy.