The Internet is the devil

We had a debate-watching party with a few friends on Saturday to learn more about the candidates for governor. (Yeah, I know the debate actually happened on Friday, but hey, we had stuff to do, and time-shifting is possible through the magic of TiVo.)

It was interesting to see what the candidates had to say. I think we were puzzled more often than we were impressed. Carole Keeton Strayhorn’s Freudian slip that she is “above the law.” Kinky Friedman saying that the Internet is the work of the devil. Rick Perry talking teacher pay raises and property tax cuts that haven’t materialized quite as described.

I really didn’t pay attention to a word Chris Bell had to say; he sounds too much like Mr. Rogers. Compare for yourself: Chris Bell. Mr. Rogers.

And not to go on a fashion tangent here, but somebody should have warned Ms. Strayhorn that her pink blazer would wreak havoc with the color balance on voters’ tv sets.

After we finished watching the debates, we headed to the Internet (also known as the work of the devil) to find out who won. Lo and behold, almost every candidate thought they were victorious.

Chris Bell proclaimed himself the unanimous debate champ. Rick Perry said he was the hands down winner of the debate. Kinky Friedman called it a Kinky victory.

Strayhorn was the only one with a sense of modesty, saying Texans were the winners.

I think One Tough Grandma is the closest to the truth, she’s just got her facts backwards. I’m afraid Texans are the losers.

I was initially pumped about Kinky, but I’m concerned that as a professional worker on the devil’s Internets, I wouldn’t be welcome as a supporter now. Plus, some of his ideas are a little off the wall; I am all for student power and input in higher ed, but should we replace all the boards of regents with student members?

Grandma’s out because she smiled a bit too much and seemed shifty when she was questioned about ethics. I just don’t trust her for some reason. Plus that pink jacket has to go.

Bell is a big unknown to me. He appealed to Democrats to vote for him, but didn’t really ask me, a more middle-of-the-road kind of guy, for support. So I’m inclined not to give it.

That leaves Perry, who it appears will win by default with his opposition split three ways. My life the past many moons hasn’t been bad with him as governor. In fact, it’s been great — finishing college, finding good jobs, getting married, buying a house, starting school again. I don’t really give Perry any credit for that stuff though.

And on a larger scale, I get the sense that things aren’t as good as they could be in Texas. Unfortunately, I can’t quite put my finger on why, or how to make things better. And it didn’t seem as though the three politicians and Kinky could, either.

Is there a “none of the above?”