Jaminfrog

A few weeks back, Chel and I got to thinking that we should go ahead and speed up the Big Master Plan we had for our lives — which involved waiting until after I finished law school to move to a bigger house by a lake and start a family. There’s no time like the present, we figure.

So disregarding all that negative press about the worst housing market in generations, we’re preparing to put our house on the market. The other day, we invited a couple of rockstar real estate agents, Kathy and Steve, over to our house to tell us what they thought we could list it for.

Kathy and Steve are the Real Estate Mafia of North Oak Cliff. Almost every “for sale” sign in our neighborhood has their pictures on it. The first thing Kathy told us when she walked through our front door is that she’s sold our house before. Twice. She once lived next door. And she was very concerned about our neighbor Virginia when she saw that we had erected a massive wood fence between our yards.

Kathy and Steve proceeded room by room through our home, taking notes. “This shows nicely.” “Fix this.” “Paint that.” Room by room of minor little stuff that could make a big difference.

“I feel like I’m on Designed to Sell,” I told them. “Except you’re not about to come back with a crew to do all this work for us, are you?”

“Nope!”

So we’re slowly but surely working through Kathy and Steve’s little list. Although all this stuff takes longer than HGTV would lead you to believe, in a week or two we’ll put our home out there in the hope of moving our Big Master Plan ahead.

During our weekend trip to The OC (er, Orange County, California), we discovered that driving from Laguna Beach to Los Angeles wasn’t that difficult, thanks to some simple directions provided by Chel’s good friend, former roommate and current Angelino, Kristin:

“You basically just take the 405 N, to the 605 N, to the 5 N, to the 101 N…”

I was a little nervous about driving in LA traffic, given horror stories I had heard and the very epic nature of the roads themselves. After all, where else in the world do people put “the” in front of highway numbers? That little definite article somehow makes the roads more important…more worthy of me keeping my hands posted at 10 and 2 throughout the harrowing trip.

So I did just that, and with nary a glance at the radio or Chelsea or a billboard or my phone, we made it in one piece to see Kristin and her boyfriend Danny. They quickly became my heroes, because they took us to Universal Studios. For some strange reason, it’s been a lifelong dream of mine to go there. Kathryn promised when I was a little boy to take me there for the studio tour, but alas, we never made it.

But that’s ok, Kath. Now that I’m all grown up I came to see that it’s only a big expensive tourist trap like Six Flags, just with a movie theme. So all is forgiven!

While strolling around Universal, we came upon a street performer who was wrapping up his evening. He stopped packing up his equipment to share a few encouraging words with us about appreciating who we are and how we’re each unique. “And I don’t need anything,” he said. “Except a TV show and a CD contract, that would be nice!”

“No kidding, I’d like those too!” responded Kristin.

And the cool thing about LA, evident even during our brief time there, is the feeling of possibility. That TV show and CD might really come along for the performer, or for Kristin. Great cities like LA, New York and DC each have that kind of special energy. To be the best in business, you gotta be in New York. In politics, DC. And in entertainment, LA.

But for folks who can’t sing or get on TV like Chel and me, Laguna Beach was more our speed. We stayed Thursday and Friday night at a little hotel called the By the Sea Inn. The rooms were recently renovated and the staff was very nice, but the Most Valuable Player of that place has to be the photographer and whoever wrote the copy for their brochure and website.

When they said it was “steps from the beach,” we were thinking maybe 15 or 20 steps, tops. Instead, there was a whole neighborhood between our room and the sand. And when they told us our room would have an ocean view, we imagined a giant panoramic window with crystal blue water out to infinity. Instead, you had to step out on the balcony off the bathroom and squint really hard through the palm trees and rooftops, and then you could somewhat see a little square worth of ocean.

I ain’t complaining, though — it was a great hotel, and there is really nothing worth complaining about while you’re that close to the ocean. Indeed, life is just a little calmer, a little less stressful, when you’re wearing swim suits and flip flops and carrying beach towels and sunscreen.

But after a couple of restful days near the ocean, it’s always nice to be back home. When the plane landed, we couldn’t wait to get back on the 183 to the 35 to the 30. Back to what will always be The True OC to us — Oak Cliff, Dallas, Texas.

(Oh, and scratch those definite articles before our highway numbers. It just doesn’t fit down here.)

Chel was in a car wreck last Thursday while I was in Indiana for work — she was just fine, with nary a bruise or even a runner in her pantyhose — but since I wasn’t here, I’m glad some guardian angels were right beside her.

It was rainy and cold as she drove from Dallas into work in Fort Worth in the little Solstice. She was driving about 60 in the left-hand lane of I-30 when she simply lost control of the car. It spun into the shoulder, hitting the front against the concrete barrier wall, then spinning around and hitting the back, then around again until it came to a stop.

After the car came to rest, Chel started touching every body part to make sure it was still in place. She doesn’t remember much of the wreck, but she heard a voice that told her to sit back, relax and hold on. (Her car-racing friend Jeremy says that’s what expert racers are trained to do when they go into a spin, because tensing up can cause broken bones or worse. So it’s a good thing Chel’s driving guardian angels know a thing or two about racing!)

She immediately called 911 and got a recording. “Thank you for calling 911. Your call is very important to us. All of our agents are busy. Please stay on the line!” Then, the OnStar button on the rearview mirror called out to her, and like a scene straight from their radio commercials, she pressed it to summon help.

Two nice truckers also pulled over immediately and ran up to the car to make sure she was alright. Chel said they looked like they had seen a ghost.

“Miss, I don’t know what you’re supposed to do here on earth, but you’ve got something good to do, because you shouldn’t have made it after what I just saw.”

The paramedics also checked her out and she was ok. Thankfully, her sales partner Christian from work was able to take her to the house, and Little Mom came from Plano to watch over her in my absence.

We don’t know what caused the car to spin out of control — although our hunch is that the recently issued recall on Pontiac Solstices may have something to do with it. All I know is that we’re not going to get behind the wheel of a Solstice again, and I am so thankful that my love was unhurt and was so protected by angels and friends.

I’ve discovered some new personal favorites that I’ve enjoyed watching, listening to or eating (as appropriate) these days, and I thought I’d share them since I’ve got the day off today and should obviously be studying or doing something more productive.

Favorite fast food while attempting to do a low-carb diet: Wendy’s. The fine followers of Dave Thomas really know how to help a guy along in his quest to drop a few pounds this winter. You see, I always gave up around Day 3 of my previous diet attempts, but I’ve made it almost a month this time, and I think I owe it all to the fact that Wendy’s will make a cheeseburger wrapped in lettuce and packaged in a nice little dish, if you simply just ask them to cut the bun. Oh, and they’ll also give you chili (darn good chili!) instead of fries.

Favorite offbeat musical group: Flight of the Conchords. I can’t recall how I finally discovered these guys since we don’t have the fancy channels and I’ve been oblivious to their show on HBO. But I’m a fan of their whole catalog, particularly “Business Time”:

Favorite TV show: anything in HD. I’ve recently discovered that I will only watch shows if they’re in high definition, and I have found myself watching most anything in HD. Case in point: the other night I settled on some show called “Sumo School” on one of those HD travel channels. It was about these Japanese guys training to be Sumo wrestlers. Somehow the fact it’s in HD makes any show fascinating. Although it probably doesn’t matter what I watch, since I fall asleep on the couch regardless.

Ok, it’s about time for a Wendy’s lettuce-wrap burger now. So what are your faves these days?

After last year’s Halloween misadventure with the cow suit, I wasn’t planning on dressing up at all this year. But Chel talked me into it at the last minute, and we cobbled together a pimp costume from stuff we had in the closet: her mom’s fur coat, my pinstripe shirt, suit, and vest, my top hat from our wedding, a bunch of chains from Chel’s jewelry collection, an earring (clip on — don’t worry Mom!) and a penciled-in mustache. People at the Halloween party we attended said that I was the most realistic pimp they had seen. Chel made another Halloween appearance as the always-popular Little Miss Muffet.

A few weeks back we got an email from our  friendly neighborhood anti-crime guru. (The same guy who almost got his car stolen, but for the efforts of my bride). He was sending a heads-up to everyone in our neighborhood about being prepared for Halloween. He said we should buy enough candy to feed 2,000 trick-or-treaters, that we should park our cars in the driveway since the streets would be clogged with bumper-to-bumper traffic, and that the neighborhood was hiring 3 off-duty policemen to help with traffic and crowd control.

Although we had seen Halloween in Oak Cliff a couple of years back, I almost didn’t believe that it would be possible for that many kiddos to come down our street. But I took my skepticism to the Dollar General store down the street and stocked up on about 1,500 Tootsie Pops, Milk Duds, Tootsie Rolls, and Smarties. I was certain we would have a ton left over.

Since I didn’t want to miss the fun, I skipped class that night (the last time this semester! I promise. Really.), picked up some Pizza Patron pizza and turned down our street at about 6:30. By that time the melee had begun. Cars were indeed bumper-to-bumper on our street and a line of cars was parked going both ways. I somehow found my way into the driveway, where Chel, Little Mom and Emily were trying to handle the crowd. I got some Halloween music playing outside and joined them.

We saw Spider Man (several times), a variety of witches, some Pokemon characters, many different princesses, several Super Men, even babies in various animal costumes, and then some older kids without costumes who were a little too big to go trick-or-treating. At the busiest point there was a line of kids all the way down our sidewalk to the street. And every house on the block (and probably in our whole neighborhood) had a line that long. All I said for about an hour was, “Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween” as we passed out piece after piece of candy.

Alas, we ran out of the goods after about an hour. We had to hustle inside, close the curtains and turn the lights off so people would know we were no longer in business.

Next year, we’re gonna have to get a Sam’s Club membership or something.

I thought about buying a gun for a few seconds this week.

After class on Wednesday I came home to find stacks of Republic Title folders and handouts spread across the living room floor. Chel had to put together 300 folders of goodies to take around to offices of new clients on Thursday and Friday. I helped her a little bit and then headed for bed.

Poor Chel didn’t finish the packets until about 2 a.m., and when she came to bed she whispered that she had stopped some would-be car thieves. As she was finishing up her folder-stuffing, a big silver SUV pulled up in the middle of the street, next to the Mercedes convertible and fancy Caddy that our across-the-street neighbors park in front of their home. Two guys dressed in all black jumped out and started shining flashlights around the expensive cars, running around like they were about to break into them.

Chel grabbed her cell phone and called 911 while she watched the guys from our front window. Apparently the getaway driver saw Chelsea watching them, because he flashed his headlights. His accomplices got the signal, jumped into the SUV, and they sped off before Chel could get their license plate number.

The police came by and checked out the situation, but there wasn’t much they could do.

I was proud of my little Crime Stopper, but nervous at the same time. What if the dudes had had guns? What if they came back again?

Meanwhile, sweet Addy, who barks bloody murder without hesitation at our innocent neighbor Larry and archnemesis Shai the Pomeranian, slept straight through the would-be car heist without even a whimper.

So that got me thinking. Do we need a gun to protect us when our guard dog doesn’t?

I’ve volunteered to teach a fifth grade class at a Dallas elementary school for an hour a week as part of the Law Related Education program at school. Through next spring, we’ll cover topics like the Bill of Rights, voting, the trial process, and other fun stuff. At the end of our time we get to bring the class to campus to participate in a mock trial. It’s been a blast so far!

Today was my day to teach again, and I pulled up to the school 10 minutes before the appointed time. The school was a ghost town — what had been all hustle and bustle the week before was empty streets and tumbleweeds. Then I saw the school marquee and realized what today was.

It was Fair Day! Yes, the time-honored tradition when Dallas school kids get to descend upon the State Fair of Texas to ride rides, pet livestock and eat fried food.

So I didn’t get to teach today, but I think Chel and I are convinced that we are taking Little Mom to the fair tomorrow! I’m a little worried since it’s Texas-OU weekend, but we’re going to try to time it so that we’re riding rides while the other 80,000 people are in the stadium. We got a State Fair season pass that also entitles us to go to Holiday in the Park at Six Flags and to a free movie. What a deal!

Now if only I can gird my stomach to prepare for fried cookie dough, fried twinkies, fried Coke, fried Oreos, funnel cakes and corny dogs. Tomorrow is family Fair Day!

Some random observations on where I’ve been for more than a month…

Law school is back in session and I really like all my classes. At the last minute I dropped the Income Tax class I signed up for last spring and got the last open seat in Real Estate Transactions. I’ve heard from the folks in Income Tax that their class is all about accounting and formulas, so I’m glad I’ve postponed that experience for a while. (Hey, I was an ad-pr major, remember! I don’t do math.)

Work has been pretty busy and we’ve finished two big projects and a bunch of other little ones. SMU is in the quiet phase of a capital fundraising campaign that will officially kick off next year some time, and there’s no better way to be “quiet” about something than to build a big website with video, charts and graphs…so we did! That site was about a year in the making, but we ended up building most of it the day or two before it launched.  I’m proud we pulled it all together somehow. We also launched an online version of our alumni magazine, so if you ever want to read good stories about SMU, head over that way.

I learned the location of a school zone in our neighborhood last week when I got a speeding ticket. I had just dropped off some movies at our local Blockbuster when I turned from the side road onto Davis Street and merrily began driving away. Then I spotted the cop, who was simultaneously spotting me in a black convertible, going 38 in a 20. The big flashing school zone sign was about a block back the road before where I turned. Luckily there were no kids endangered, just a friendly Dallas County Constable with a radar gun who also observed that I have neglected to change my address on my license. $454 later, I have learned my lesson. I will never go back to that Blockbuster in the morning!

Other than that, I’ve just done a lot of reading for school, a lot of hanging out, a little traveling, and a lot of not posting anything to this site. I’ve got more stories to tell, so I’m picking up the whole blogging thing and will be back around here more frequently. Off to work now — but on the lookout for school zones.

Mom and Dad, thanks again for the weather radio! We had big storms come through Dallas tonight and the sirens went off, so the animals and I huddled in the bathroom while everything blew through. (Chel is ok in Fort Worth at a client dinner and is waiting out the storms there.) They’re reporting a lot of trees down in Oak Cliff and our problem tree from last May lost another big branch that fell on the same power line, so I’m waiting on our friendly neighborhood tree service to take it out again.
 

Along with the handy weather radio, I also watched the news on my computer. I was at a conference last month where they reported that 20% of Americans have used the Internet in the bathroom! I thought to myself at the time that I would never be that guy. Any port in a storm I guess!