Jaminfrog

Hi there! It’s me — your son/brother/spouse/friend/co-worker/acquaintance who hasn’t written in a while. So to make up for it, here’s everything I really intended to tell you about for the past month, but didn’t, in an easier-to-read condensed version. It’s like those old school Reader’s Digest Condensed Books, but of my life.

I was an American Airlines statistic last week when I was supposed to fly to DC for an SMU alumni event, but the five flights I tried to get on to make it there in time all got canceled because of their impromptu safety inspections. You always see those shots on TV of people in airports laying on cots or standing in long lines. Lucky for me there was no laying on cots involved, but I did stand in a lot of lines. Some other SMU folks got stranded in DC for an extra day and had to put up with a day of sightseeing and staying at the Ritz-Carlton. The horror!

We’re moving into a new building at work in the next month or two, and I am obsessed with the fact that I will have an office. With a door. Not that I will close the door ever, but still! We’ve decided that now is the time for me to get rid of my Despair.com demotivational poster in my current cubicle and create a Grown Up Office. Chel was kind enough to give me a painting of a horned frog to serve as the centerpiece. Add to that a water wall (or maybe just a little desk-sized water fountain) and the theme will be Contemporary Zen Mascots. Now I just need to find a good painting of a mustang to ensure equal representation.

I officially became an Apple Fanboy after I had a slight problem with my iPhone where a little swath of pixels on the screen was dimmer than the rest. I took it to my friendly neighborhood Apple store, and one of their “Geniuses” (isn’t that a better name than “Technical Support Person”?) agreed that I needed a replacement phone. So he gave me one, for free. I suppose I should be annoyed that my first phone weirded out, but instead I’m just amazed at Apple’s great customer service.

We still haven’t resolved the automobile situation following Chelsea’s accident. We asked GM to take a look at the car because we were concerned the accident was caused by the rear differential locking up. They finally sent an inspector out, and we’re waiting for the final report from Detroit. We just want to make sure the car is safe before we sell it, and alert GM if they’re doing something wrong in their recall service. For now we’re carpooling it to work, which is actually nice because Chel and I get to spend Commute Time together.

We’re going back to Padre over Memorial Day Weekend! This time, instead of pulling an all-nighter to drive the 13 hours from Dallas, we’re going to fly. I’m really looking forward to some beach bumming after finals are over and before work gets really crazy this summer.

And speaking of finals…I’m really not looking forward to them this semester. I’ve got some major catching-up to do over the next couple of weeks so I can be prepared. I wish Reader’s Digest made Condensed Books of all the cases I still need to read.

So this is what I would have written about over the past month. What’s up with you, my friendly reader?

Chel was in a car wreck last Thursday while I was in Indiana for work — she was just fine, with nary a bruise or even a runner in her pantyhose — but since I wasn’t here, I’m glad some guardian angels were right beside her.

It was rainy and cold as she drove from Dallas into work in Fort Worth in the little Solstice. She was driving about 60 in the left-hand lane of I-30 when she simply lost control of the car. It spun into the shoulder, hitting the front against the concrete barrier wall, then spinning around and hitting the back, then around again until it came to a stop.

After the car came to rest, Chel started touching every body part to make sure it was still in place. She doesn’t remember much of the wreck, but she heard a voice that told her to sit back, relax and hold on. (Her car-racing friend Jeremy says that’s what expert racers are trained to do when they go into a spin, because tensing up can cause broken bones or worse. So it’s a good thing Chel’s driving guardian angels know a thing or two about racing!)

She immediately called 911 and got a recording. “Thank you for calling 911. Your call is very important to us. All of our agents are busy. Please stay on the line!” Then, the OnStar button on the rearview mirror called out to her, and like a scene straight from their radio commercials, she pressed it to summon help.

Two nice truckers also pulled over immediately and ran up to the car to make sure she was alright. Chel said they looked like they had seen a ghost.

“Miss, I don’t know what you’re supposed to do here on earth, but you’ve got something good to do, because you shouldn’t have made it after what I just saw.”

The paramedics also checked her out and she was ok. Thankfully, her sales partner Christian from work was able to take her to the house, and Little Mom came from Plano to watch over her in my absence.

We don’t know what caused the car to spin out of control — although our hunch is that the recently issued recall on Pontiac Solstices may have something to do with it. All I know is that we’re not going to get behind the wheel of a Solstice again, and I am so thankful that my love was unhurt and was so protected by angels and friends.

I’m not really doing resolutions this year, but here’s what I would like to accomplish in 2008:

• Lose 20 lbs. Chel tells me that to do this, I need to ask, “What would the 200-lb. version of me do?” whenever I am making a choice about whether to eat that candy bar or not. I am thinking about getting that printed on one of those little Lance Armstrong-style wrist bracelets, like this: WW200lb.VOMD?
• Save more and give more. Thanks to our trusty family budget.
• Travel. This goal is somewhat contrary to the saving and giving goal, but we’re going to head to the beach again at some point(s) this year.
• Get some more A’s and B’s. I need to get my studying rear in gear much earlier in the semester than I did this past fall.
• Be a good husband, family member, friend and colleague.

After last year’s Halloween misadventure with the cow suit, I wasn’t planning on dressing up at all this year. But Chel talked me into it at the last minute, and we cobbled together a pimp costume from stuff we had in the closet: her mom’s fur coat, my pinstripe shirt, suit, and vest, my top hat from our wedding, a bunch of chains from Chel’s jewelry collection, an earring (clip on — don’t worry Mom!) and a penciled-in mustache. People at the Halloween party we attended said that I was the most realistic pimp they had seen. Chel made another Halloween appearance as the always-popular Little Miss Muffet.

A few weeks back we got an email from our  friendly neighborhood anti-crime guru. (The same guy who almost got his car stolen, but for the efforts of my bride). He was sending a heads-up to everyone in our neighborhood about being prepared for Halloween. He said we should buy enough candy to feed 2,000 trick-or-treaters, that we should park our cars in the driveway since the streets would be clogged with bumper-to-bumper traffic, and that the neighborhood was hiring 3 off-duty policemen to help with traffic and crowd control.

Although we had seen Halloween in Oak Cliff a couple of years back, I almost didn’t believe that it would be possible for that many kiddos to come down our street. But I took my skepticism to the Dollar General store down the street and stocked up on about 1,500 Tootsie Pops, Milk Duds, Tootsie Rolls, and Smarties. I was certain we would have a ton left over.

Since I didn’t want to miss the fun, I skipped class that night (the last time this semester! I promise. Really.), picked up some Pizza Patron pizza and turned down our street at about 6:30. By that time the melee had begun. Cars were indeed bumper-to-bumper on our street and a line of cars was parked going both ways. I somehow found my way into the driveway, where Chel, Little Mom and Emily were trying to handle the crowd. I got some Halloween music playing outside and joined them.

We saw Spider Man (several times), a variety of witches, some Pokemon characters, many different princesses, several Super Men, even babies in various animal costumes, and then some older kids without costumes who were a little too big to go trick-or-treating. At the busiest point there was a line of kids all the way down our sidewalk to the street. And every house on the block (and probably in our whole neighborhood) had a line that long. All I said for about an hour was, “Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween” as we passed out piece after piece of candy.

Alas, we ran out of the goods after about an hour. We had to hustle inside, close the curtains and turn the lights off so people would know we were no longer in business.

Next year, we’re gonna have to get a Sam’s Club membership or something.

We all have our favorite TV shows I guess, and Sinatra the siamese cat has discovered his — Meerkat Manor.

Anne and Tanner introduced us to the show the last time I was at the farm. “It’s like the Sopranos,” they told us. I was strangely entertained, and I started tivo-ing it when I got back home because I thought Chel might enjoy it.

We sat down to watch some TV one night the next week, and I suggested Meerkat Manor. Now, Chelsea didn’t really like it because inevitably some poor meerkat dies at the end of each episode.

But Sinatra, who was sitting on Chel’s lap at the time, was transfixed. He jumped up to the edge of the couch and stared intently at the screen. Whenever the commercials came on, he lost interest until his show came back. He watched the entire episode.

Last night I was home doing some stuff around the house with the TV on, and I was about to change to one of those all-music stations to help with my chores. I walked into the den and alas, the tivo had changed the channel to record Meerkat Manor.

And sure enough, Sinatra was curled up on top of the leather chair, watching his favorite show. I just didn’t have the heart to change the channel. Last night was a big episode.

I’ve volunteered to teach a fifth grade class at a Dallas elementary school for an hour a week as part of the Law Related Education program at school. Through next spring, we’ll cover topics like the Bill of Rights, voting, the trial process, and other fun stuff. At the end of our time we get to bring the class to campus to participate in a mock trial. It’s been a blast so far!

Today was my day to teach again, and I pulled up to the school 10 minutes before the appointed time. The school was a ghost town — what had been all hustle and bustle the week before was empty streets and tumbleweeds. Then I saw the school marquee and realized what today was.

It was Fair Day! Yes, the time-honored tradition when Dallas school kids get to descend upon the State Fair of Texas to ride rides, pet livestock and eat fried food.

So I didn’t get to teach today, but I think Chel and I are convinced that we are taking Little Mom to the fair tomorrow! I’m a little worried since it’s Texas-OU weekend, but we’re going to try to time it so that we’re riding rides while the other 80,000 people are in the stadium. We got a State Fair season pass that also entitles us to go to Holiday in the Park at Six Flags and to a free movie. What a deal!

Now if only I can gird my stomach to prepare for fried cookie dough, fried twinkies, fried Coke, fried Oreos, funnel cakes and corny dogs. Tomorrow is family Fair Day!

It was back to beautiful Galveston last week for a long 4-day weekend of sun and surf with Chel, Little Mom, Marcy, Addy and Yoshi. This time we rented a condo right along Seawall Boulevard. The condo was great because it had a full kitchen, a little back porch where we could sit and watch the waves while the dogs sniffed around outside, and we didn’t have to deal with hotel policies and attack mosquitoes.

Since we’re Galveston veterans now, we’re even learning the best places to eat. The Donut Palace on Broadway Street is the bomb; we went there for breakfast every day. I think I probably gained five pounds just standing at the counter looking at their amazing selection and another five eating all the apple fritters and ham, egg and cheese croissants that I did.

At dinner on Saturday night, I took out the iPhone to show Chel some of the photos we had taken at the beach. (I’ve posted them in this little gallery.) She noticed a couple at the next table staring at us and the iPhone, and invited them to join us in our booth. After they got to see the iPhone we hit it off talking about other stuff, and they invited us to go out on their boat the next morning before we headed home.

On the way back to the condo we went through all the possible scenarios — maybe they’re going to get us on their boat and kill us! After a brief Googling of our suspects we decided we were safe. (Just in case, though, we left our new friend’s business card on the coffee table of the condo with a note that he had taken us out on his boat.)

The boat ride turned out great — we took our new friends Steve and Cynthia breakfast from the Donut Palace, and we saw a family of dolphins swimming around the bay. Our new friends are probably going to meet us for drinks the next time they’re in Dallas.

This was possibly the best Galveston trip ever, and it was a great way to send Marcy off to grad school in Boston. Now if I can just work off some of those pounds I packed on at the Palace before school starts!

After launching BuyBenaniPhone.com and receiving more than $10 in donations (although I really only got $6.56 because of PayPal transaction charges), I decided on the day they started selling them to go with some work friends to the mall during lunchtime to see if people were actually lining up outside. At that point it was 100 people and counting.

To razz Chel about her persistent denial of my iPhone dreams, I called her (on my non-iPhone) and left her a message that we were stopping by the Apple store. She called me back and told me I should go ahead and get it.

“You’re yanking my chain,” I said, or something to that effect.

“No, you should get it. Congratulations on a great first year of law school!”

Suffice it to say that much of the rest of the afternoon was spent coming up with my purchase strategy. We had to go somewhere that night, so I knew that joining the line outside the store wasn’t the way to go. I decided to order it online promptly at 8 p.m. when it became available. With all the hype I just knew it would be sold out in a few minutes. But I got through, and my phone would be delivered within 2-4 weeks.

The next day while I was out running some weekend errands, I happened to drive by the Apple store again so I decided to stop in and see if I could try it out. There was a pretty big crowd milling about, but no line or anything, so I figured the store had to have sold out their allotment for the day. After a friendly Apple store rep gave a few of us a guided tour of the iPhone, the guy next to me announced that he was going to go get one, walked nonchalantly up to the counter, and checked out.

Huh. So they’re not sold out! I nonchalantly walked up to the counter and purchased my own birthday-slash-Christmas-slash-anniversary-slash-first year of law school gift. (And yes, I did cancel my online order.)

So the iPhone is great and probably the coolest gadget I’ve ever had (and that’s saying a lot). But it’s too bad we got one, because Anne let me know yesterday morning that the Kidd Kraddick morning show was giving away an iPhone to one lucky man. The catch: the wife had to call in and simply give up something of value to the guy. I called Chel (this time, on the iPhone) and left her a message that we missed out…that she could have won me an iPhone by giving something up.

She left me a joking message back that she did give something up. She gave up her dining room table!

That may not sound like much, but if you’ve talked with Chel about home decorating lately, you know that she wants nothing more than a nice dining room table. We had almost saved up for it, and then I came along with BuyBenaniPhone.

The cool thing I’m learning about marriage is that it’s full of opportunities to give and to serve. I’m blessed — beyond the iPhone — that my wife gives so much to me every day. I hope that I can find ways to give and to serve her even half as much. Hopefully that will include a dining table and chairs sometime soon.

But in the meantime, you can play with the iPhone if you come over for dinner — you just may have to sit on the floor.

So the little Apple iPhone is coming out on Friday.

I’ve tried several angles in a quest to get one. In the budget process at work, I put one in the budget — you know, for completely legitimate mobile Internet-browsing reasons. The poor thing stayed in the budget about as long as it took my budget spreadsheet to be emailed from my computer to my boss’s computer.

I tried talking Chelsea into it. I even considered creating a spreadsheet showing how getting an iPhone would actually save us money compared to our current cell phone plan. Didn’t work either.

So since the big 3-0 is coming up in September, last night Chel said I should tell my family and friends that I wanted an iPhone for my birthday and asking them to contribute to my iPhone fund. And thus, BuyBenaniPhone.com is born. Although I made the site primarily for my own personal amusement, the giving page really would enable you to contribute to my bona fide iPhone savings account. So check it out, and if you were going to get me a birthday gift anyways, think about making a small contribution to the fund.