Jaminfrog

Co-worker and fellow basketball fan Cavin pointed me in the direction of this article about Shaquille O’Neal’s massive monthly budget.

There are several things amazing to me about this since I don’t yet make $20 million a year like Shaq does. First, the dude spends $1500 a month on cable tv. What channels and how many pay-per-view movies is this guy ordering? Second, $2300 a month for pets? And $17 grand a month for clothing. He’s apparently not shopping at Ross Dress for Less.

If Shaq is making $20 million a year, getting taxed about $6 million, and spending almost a million a month, that means he is (relatively speaking) putting next to nothing in savings, just like the rest of America.

Lesson from The Big Aristotle: As income increases, don’t increase standard of living at the same rate.

I’m not really doing resolutions this year, but here’s what I would like to accomplish in 2008:

• Lose 20 lbs. Chel tells me that to do this, I need to ask, “What would the 200-lb. version of me do?” whenever I am making a choice about whether to eat that candy bar or not. I am thinking about getting that printed on one of those little Lance Armstrong-style wrist bracelets, like this: WW200lb.VOMD?
• Save more and give more. Thanks to our trusty family budget.
• Travel. This goal is somewhat contrary to the saving and giving goal, but we’re going to head to the beach again at some point(s) this year.
• Get some more A’s and B’s. I need to get my studying rear in gear much earlier in the semester than I did this past fall.
• Be a good husband, family member, friend and colleague.

I got some interesting tax advice from a fifth grader a few weeks back.

We had just completed a lesson about taxation without representation, in an activity where the kiddos were unfairly taxed pieces of candy based on silly things like what color shirt they wore that day. The lesson was intended to show why the colonists broke away from the British government and how unfair the British taxes were.

So when we asked the kids what they learned that day, a student (wise beyond his years?) replied:

“You should hide your money and your candy from the government!”

Now, no telling whether he had learned that concept from his parents…and we tried to steer him away from a life of tax evasion…but my recent experiences with tuition benefits suggest to me that the little man might be on to something.

An IRS rule states that any graduate tuition benefit over $5,250 in value per year that would qualify one for a new profession is taxable at the same rate as regular income. So, since SMU is generous enough to pay my tuition, I am taxed as though I receive about $17,000 additional income in the bank that I never actually see. SMU calculates up the taxes and deducts them from my paycheck over three pay periods each semester.

What that amounts to this semester is that in November, December and January, I take home about $1,000 less than I would in a normal month. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but Addy needs her sweaters, after all.

I know I shouldn’t be complaining, since 95 percent of my fellow students are making far greater personal and financial sacrifices to make it through school. But something about this IRS rule seems screwy. Shouldn’t the government be encouraging people to take advantage of these benefits rather than taxing them for it? Isn’t the allowance of $5,250 a little unreasonable for those using these benefits at a private (more expensive) school like SMU? If they have to tax something, maybe the allowance should be a percentage of tuition rather than a flat rate.

Plus, it seems like the IRS is trying to have it both ways. I can’t claim the amount of tuition benefit as an educational expense on my tax return because one can only claim a credit on tuition paid out of one’s personal funds. But then they tax the tuition benefit as if it has been paid as part of my salary.

So it seems I can’t hide my money, my candy or my tuition benefit from the government. But I’d sure like to be in a position to help change this rule one day.

This week has been full of pluses and minuses. We somehow added a Jeep to the family, while subtracting the trusty Jetta. And another big plus was also a minus — I just found out I got an A-minus in Civil Procedure, bringing my first semester GPA to just about 3.5.

So about that first addition — you might remember that I have a habit of impulse buys, and I think I may have married myself an impulse buyer, too. While Chel and I talked about our next car being an SUV, we didn’t expect it to get it for a few years. An SUV seemed more appropriate as a car for real grown-ups who have to transport real babies around, and we’re not planning to fit in that category until I get out of school.

But when the new car bug bites, it tends to bite big, and we found ourselves in a dealership on Monday, test driving a Jeep. Thanks to Chel’s amazing negotiation skills and a special deal Jeep was running, we ended up getting it for the same payment despite the fact that we were way upside-down on the Jetta. And thus, Avery the green Jeep Grand Cherokee has become a part of the family.

Now that we’re driving a grown-up car, we’re left wondering: Could the stars have aligned on this purchase because The Big Man Upstairs has another addition to the family planned sometime soon?

I have an impressive track record of impulsively buying things that are fun to have, but I really don’t need. For some reason a little shopper in me gets obsessed with a particular thing and refuses to give up. Over the years I’ve collected a veritable hall of fame of impulse buys. Continue Reading »

So I celebrate being another year older today! Chel and I are going out to dinner between work and tonight’s classes.

My resolutions for Year 29 are probably not that different than the ones I’ve tried before: I will make it to work on time. I will work out more often. (I’m going for three times a week this time — that’s realistic, right?) I will watch our money wisely.

But the year ahead will require me to be more structured, so maybe I’ll be more successful. After all, I’ve already exercised twice this week! As for the being-on-time-to-work, I’ll start that tomorrow. After all, today’s my birthday and I’m entitled to push the snooze alarm a couple more times.

Last night Chelsea and I went to see Little Mom in Plano and take Chel’s Bug, which we’re selling, to a Volkswagen dealership to see what they said it’s worth. We headed back to Oak Cliff around 10:30. There are about a million different ways to get back to our house, but we had the top down on the Bug so I suggested that we exit Sylvan and drive through Kessler Park, by far the most scenic route.

We got through the downtown interchange and hit a huge backup waiting to exit Sylvan. They’ve been doing lots of construction on I-30 lately, so I figured it must be related to that. It was weird, though — the other lanes were moving through just fine.

We waited on the Trinity River bridge for about 30 minutes, moving forward inch by inch toward the Sylvan exit, and then it hit me what was going on. Dallas’ main post office is at the Sylvan exit. Yesterday was the tax deadline. It was almost midnight. We had gotten caught in the traffic jam of last-second tax filers!

When we finally exited, it was like a circus at the post office. They had a huge tent set up and postal workers with big baskets standing along the side of the street to collect returns. The parking lot was jammed, probably with people inside filling out extension forms.

Once we passed the post office, it was smooth sailing once again. Next year on April 15th we’re taking the back way home.

Chelsea and I were getting the final details settled on our mortgage over the weekend, and because we discovered some fishy things on my credit report on Friday that weren’t mine — a judgment against me from somebody I’ve never heard of and a couple of credit cards I’ve never had — we decided to check Chelsea’s credit Sunday night just so we were prepared in case anything weird came up on hers. The last time we checked, her credit (like mine) was excellent. Here was the conversation.

CHELSEA: So, can we check my credit tonight? How much does it cost?

ME: I think it’s $15 or something like that, not a big deal.

(I hop online and go to annualcreditreport.com, where you can see your credit reports from the three major bureaus each year for free. They charge a little extra for you to actually see your score.)

ME: Okay, everything looks good, accounts in good standing, no collections, no derogatory stuff.

(I make a few more clicks to get her score.)

ME: Oh, I’m sorry! It’s just five-ninety-five!

CHELSEA: What!?! My credit score has dropped to 595?

ME: No, I meant that it only costs $5.95 to get it! Your score is still great.

And that just goes to show what a difference a decimal makes!

We had a lovely dinner at Cha Cha and David’s house last night. They’re the parents of Chel’s best friend Shannon, but Chelsea and Marcy may as well be their daughters, too. We always have a great time with them.

Chel and Cha Cha got to talking about the new house and how overwhelming buying a house can be — stepping up in payment and taking on extra responsibility. Cha Cha, in her sweet Dominican accent, had some sage words, as she always does. Continue Reading »

It’s my favorite time of the year: the time when we get to collect some of our money back on that interest-free loan we’ve given the government. That’s right, it’s tax season! I guess it’s good we’re getting a refund instead of owing money, but it might be nice to work things out where we are actually able to take more of that money home each month instead of loaning it to Uncle Sammy. Let me know if you have any hints on how to do that.

While I’m talking taxes, here’s a little plug for TurboTax Online, where I completed our 1040 for the second straight year. It’s a lot like going to an accountant, in the sense that it asks you a lot of questions in order to try to get the most deductions possible. One cool thing that it did was it used the eBay valuation of items we donated to Goodwill and the Salvation Army this year to get the highest deduction possible on those donations.

In other taxation news, we discovered that my possible foray into my friendly neighborhood law school will be taxable next year, to the tune of roughly $21 grand in tuition benefits that the IRS views as taxable income. So, I guess the whole concept of getting a refund was fun while it lasted!